Happy 30th Matt...

It's Matthew's birthday today. Matthew is my little brother . He would of celebrated his 30th today, and I miss him dearly. He passed away when he was just 18 years old. :)

There were 5 kids in all who passed that same morning. Imagine going to 5 funerals in one week and one being your youngest sibling? Strike that, don't imagine that.. Because that's not a fun thought. But that was our scenario, and one I'll never forget..

I don't write much about this sadness. Who likes to? I enjoy talking about the good feel stuff and especially love photographing the good feel stuff.. Like the celebrations of birthdays, events and the celebration of life. You know. Happy moments of our life.. So here I am writing..

But recently I have been photographing some of Matt's friends from school. They are starting families of their own and or about to. At this time in life, I wonder what Matt would be doing at this time in his life.

Would he have married his high school sweetheart? Would he have started a family with a few lil' Matt's running around? And maybe a dog named PLUR. What would his career choice have been? So many wonders.

I know he would have been awesome at whatever he would of done.. That, I am sure of... ;) and know he would of made the best uncle ever to my kiddos.

As much time goes by, there are never any certain ways to grieve. You just do the best you can.

Your grieve the hardest at the beginning and it changes over time certainly, but the heart still feels the same.. Loss.

I miss him just the same as I did 12 years ago and love him just the same. I know he is watching over us. I do believe his spirit is within me and my family, and I know I will meet up with him one day... And that is how I will celebrate his life and his birthday. Remembering the happy moments.

Enjoy your big 30 brother.

Happy Birthday Matt.

PLUR